This is your brain. We need to talk.
I’ve put up with a lot from you. Your caffeine/no caffeine waffling. Limited sleep (I think you killed off at least a third of my guys with this one). Soccer. The Bachelor.
I’ve been trying to let you know ever so gently. I made you forget your office keys. You sent your Mom her Mother’s Day gift, but did you know you billed her for it? And that great gift you sent your Stepmom? You should know you haven’t sent it yet. I dreamed that one up for you. I’m pretty convincing. And when you bought the overpriced soy latte and promptly forgot about it? All me.
Here’s why I’ve been trying to get your attention: I can’t STAND the whining for ONE MORE SECOND. You may be tired, or have work to do, and LG may be going through a bit of a rude independent phase but guess what?
You’re REALLY lucky. Allow me to list why. (I’m a brain. I like ordered lists).
- I got to sleep in on Mother’s Day. Until 9:45!
- There’s fresh flowers on the table. MMMM, Lilacs… (quiet, nose!)
- Your boy tells you he loves you at least once a day.
- Your husband does the same, every time we talk on the phone.
- You wore your new, freshly knitted, snazzy striped socks yesterday. The feet reported they were overly warm, but it was worth it.
- You get your summer off in two weeks.
I could go on. But you get my point. There are lots and lots of people who have it far harder than you do. Like nurses. Or the homeless. Or pretty much the entire continent of Africa.
So suck it up, stop your whining, and be grateful. Or I will continue to check out on you at the most inopportune times. Like the time you restarted the car, even though it was already running.
P.S. The Heart wanted me to give you a message – a brisk walk now and then wouldn’t kill us.